Blonde Jokes

 

3 Women in Mexico

Three young women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate their college graduations. They drink way too much and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped into the electric chair and asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Brigham Young University and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."

They throw the switch and, again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from Michigan, just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you're not going to electrocute anyone if you don't plug this thing in!"

 
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She Was So Blonde That:

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tripped over the cordless phone.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.

 
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Riddles

Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her months to figure out she could use it at night, too.

What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle?
...A dope ring.

What's the definition of eternity?
...4 blondes at a 4-way stop sign.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
... "This Goes In Front."

What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh, look! Donut seeds!
 
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The End